My Come To Jesus Moment

They talk about a “Come to Jesus Moment” as being an important step towards change or improvement. I thought I was part of a “moment” for someone about 20 years ago. The man had been staying in my hotel for almost a month. He was a pipefitter and he was an alcoholic. He had refused service from housekeeping for almost his whole stay. One day I got the call his family hadn’t heard from him and the employer called also looking for him.  I opened the door to his room expecting to find him dead but no, there he was laying on his bed in a drunken stupor. To the right of his bed was a pile of empty liquor and beer bottles just tossed upon each other as high as the bed and equal to the length of it.

His wife and children were worried sick about him and wanted him home. I spent the next few hours pouring coffee down his gullet in hopes I could bring him back to consciousness. When I thought he was ready, I took him out to his car. The scene reminded me of a “Moses” moment when Moses was talking down to his people and it was raining and lightning was lighting up the sky behind him and making him look all-powerful and putting the fear of God in them. It was raining heavily and the lightning was striking above my head and the red neon lights that circled the roof of the building were flashing as I spoke to this man about how he had failed his family and himself and that he needed to return to that family and make things right. He went on his way and I hope he was able to change.

I’ve been waiting for my come-to Jesus moment. With all my health issues I expected someone to play Moses and scare the bajeebies out of me and set me on a new path. I expected to have a mass heart attack and maybe then the healthcare professional would ream me out and do a “Cher” on me (a slap across the face and say snap out of it). So far, all the doctors seem to be so nonchalant about it. Maybe they have seen this too much with other patients and they are tired of their advice falling on deaf ears.

My nurse practitioner listened to my heart and said oh you have a heart murmur.  She was surprised that I didn’t know I had one. So, I’m 67, overweight, my cholesterol is high, have had several blood clots, I have two large arteries with blockages of 50% each, have had a torn meniscus, I can’t even walk more than 50 feet and I have to sit down, I have high blood pressure and a host of other medical issues. It was then that I got my breakdown moment. My eye faucets opened up and began flowing a river. It was too much. Jody Adams (no relation) my nurse practitioner had worked for a heart Dr for the last 25 plus years and took a moment with me and for that, I will be grateful. You see here I am thinking my life is over and she was kind enough to explain it wasn’t and what I can do by taking small steps and it will improve. I had heard it before but wasn’t ready to listen. It wasn’t raining for us and there was no lightning, there was just someone who cared and I thank god for that. Now I have two angels in my life Elisa Rhodes my Nurse Practitioner who caught my blood clots and Ms. Adams who is my Moses who looks so much better than a guy with a long beard. Now if I could only have them with me all day long. I know, be careful what you wish for. In the meantime, a new journey is what I am on and so it begins with one step. Who let the dog poop here!

I’ve Been An Unhappy Man.

I’ve considered myself to be an unhappy man. I’m always doing something I don’t want to do. Or I want to be somewhere else. I don’t want to talk, I want to just listen for the silence. But all I hear is noise. The way I want my life conflicts with the way the people I want to be with are living their life. No one has time for us, we have given all our time away. We never have enough. Life gets in the way for all of us I think.

This is how we go through life. Everyone wants a puppy. They’re so cute, you want to just hold them and squeeze them and play with them. Even them pooping in the house we can live with as there so cute. But then they grow up and there not as adorable as that puppy. They’re not the same. The same with our kids. They’re all cute and adorable when they’re so small and learning to do everything and they make you laugh and give you so much love. Then they grow up and it feels like the aliens have taken over their body.

God gave us free will, that’s the problem. I/we have no one to blame but ourselves. Everything wrong in our lives is because of the choices we all made. I made the choice to work for Donald Trump years ago at one of his hotels as a manager I don’t feel like sharing that now. I made the choice to teach my kids how to drive like a crazy guy. Now one of them is doing the same as me. The other one refuses to drive at all.

If we really sit down and backtrack we will find where we went wrong. No, we can’t change what we have done. The time machine is still not here yet. At some point in our lives, we chose the path we’re on. We just accepted it as it was the path in front of us and said why not. No one told us about the other paths and what they could offer. After a while you just tell yourself this path is fine, I’ll stay on it, and eventually what I want will be down this path, no reason to change.

So every day we wake up and make a decision as to which direction to take. You can change your path at any time but, will you be so bold to choose the path less trodden or unfamiliar. The path of least resistance will not challenge you.  For years I told people I wasn’t a risk-taker but in reality, the path I was on led me on a path of least resistance. That path was actually putting myself and my family in an even risker position. Not a path of opportunity but a path of relentlessness, unforgiving, inhumaneness.

Now that I have you all depressed, I do see light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been making my own map for a new path and I hope you all find the right path much sooner than I did, as it gets harder as you get older.

My new path is fast approaching. The retirement path is a better path for me. I will have more control over this path. I will have three hours a day more to do what I want instead of commuting. More time to be with family, or to watch Netflix, Youtube, and write endless dribble on this page for you to read. Or maybe a new puppy to shit all over the house. Choose wisely folks.

He Was A Good Man

My brother in law Wally has left this world due to COVID. I think at this point everyone knows someone who’s been affected by COVID. Wally didn’t even have a chance with this fight. He had just begun another round of Chemo which had weakened his immune system. I don’t know all the details but it seemed it took him in less than a week.

When I have been asked about my brother in law I have always responded that “He’s A Good Man.” I don’t say that very often. Hell, I don’t know if I consider myself a good man? It was a given that he was a very intelligent man. You see he was a jet mechanic. It takes a man with a lot of knowledge to be able to keep up in that field. Luckily, he got to retire a few years back and he and my sister were able to live a life that I was envious of. First, they had the small cottage house on the lake where the family was invited to visit them often. It was a relaxing environment sitting on the porch watching the boats or Loons go by.

They took their retirement a little further and built their own house in Northern Wisconsin near the Upper Peninsula. It seemed to me in the middle of nowhere. They were on the river in the middle of the woods with the abundance of animal life around them including the occasional bear dropping by. I was happy for my sister and Wally, that they had this opportunity to enjoy their life together. For me, life has gotten in the way of my ability to join them up there even though I knew I had an open invitation.

There is an unspoken challenge us guys have and Wally was one of the winners of it. You see among us guys it’s kind of an obsession to see who’s going to die with the most toys. More importantly, though, is actually using those toys. Wally did get to play with his toys and he actually knew how to use all of them. I know he enjoyed himself. I never had to worry about my sister as I had a brother who knew how to take care of things. He was a good man.

Rules of The Road / Life

Every day, I have a three-hour commute.  It is divided up by two one and a half-hour time periods as I commute to Chicago every day. That’s 780 hours a year. Divide it by a forty-hour workweek that’s nineteen and a half work weeks. It seems like such a waste. I can hear many of you shouting at me, as to what I could do during this commute. I could listen to relaxing music. I could listen to books on tape or is it CDs or memory stick, who knows. Or I could quietly contemplate the wonders of the universe as I pass by the scenic wonders commuting from Chicago to Indiana.

Now that all sounds wonderful but, what I experience driving is worse than if I had stayed at work with all pressure it offers. Let’s start with, I kind of push the limit on speed or so I thought. The speed limit is 55 on most of the highways going to Chicago. I generally push that to 75 or more and try and stay with a group or shall I say a “pack of us” like-minded drivers with the mindset that the Po-Po can’t stop all of us. But lately more and more, I’m getting someone coming up behind me and they are going 80 miles an hour or more and they seem to think they can just push their way through the pack. The pack usually notices this and we generally close ranks because either this guy’s drunk or has a death wish. He’s flashing his lights, giving us the finger and trying to pass on the right. We usually make them go three lanes over to have a chance to pass us or wait until we get to an area that is patrolled by the Po-Po and hope they grab him.

Then there’s all the construction and the dreaded solid white lines. Hopefully, you all know the “Rules of the Road” no one is suppose cross a solid white line. You just don’t do it. Especially in a construction zone, to many bad things can happen. But every day, there is an idiot out there that I really don’t think ever learned the Rules of The Road.

Commuting is hell and maybe if I had a chauffeur I could relax and use my time more wisely.

As many of you know I am married and I love my wife. I usually try and speak to her two to three times during the day. She is handicapped, so I have to check on her. However, if I dare to call her as I get in the car to begin my commute home after a long day I have sealed my fate. Again let me preface this, I love my wife, but I do not need to talk to her for an hour and a half. If I do call her when I begin my trip home, the odds are against me that I will be locked into this call for the entire time. In forty-plus years of sales and marketing, I have never spoken to anyone that long. Not even when I made speeches before groups.

We have entered that period of life that many people come to. The “adjustment period” is what I call it. The kids have left and abandoned us. Her mother just passed away who lived with us. She doesn’t have a car and has two dogs to talk to all day long. I’d go crazy myself if I was in the wife’s shoes. What makes it even more difficult is she is a “Type A” personality. She is the energizer bunny and doesn’t quit despite all her handicaps. But with age comes limitations as to what we can do, versus what we use to be able to do. As I approach the possibility of retirement I think my adjustment will have to be less running with the pack and more bicycle or scooter commuting. I’d still like some excitement maybe a Big Wheel is more of my style?

My Heat Ray Gun Is Coming Back!

Back in 2009 I spoke of this new weapon the armed forces wanted to use. Here is a link to the original post.

Apparently the powers that be put the weapon on the back burner. I think my observation that it’s hard to get people to stay in one place long enough to use it on them had them concerned. With all the demonstrations going on now they want to bring it out again. Here is the latest on it at the Washington Post:

Safety and ethics worries sidelined a ‘heat ray’ for years. The feds asked about using it on protesters

I was right back then, and I think they will shelf it again. Maybe now they will take my suggestion seriously about downsizing it. Make it more portable. I’d buy one!