I have a few Christmas wishes to share. These wishes seem to come more from the heart which these days I seem to wear on my sleeve for all to see.

To Marisia may we continue to have the appreciation of humor in our lives which seems to carry us through the stress that we handle everyday.  I’ll be home soon with a bow on my head. “The present that keeps on giving”

To my wordsmith and friend Eugene, I wish that I had half your talent and may you have the courage to be not so humble and shout from the rooftops that here I am come and read me! Also for you to know your not alone my friend even on Christmas.

To Christopher, may you continue to have the courage to do what you like but, never underestimate your ability to adapt and use your skills elsewhere when needed. Nicki, I don’t say this very often but you were right about our last discussion/argument. You have the ability to teach me a few things and for that I give you my respect but don’t let it go to your head as I’m still very hard headed.

To EJ, I hope you find true love in your life and may you always know that I love you.

To Charlotte, I have always been an impatient man and for you that has been difficult and I’m sorry for that. Despite that you have given us unyielding support and I am most appreciative and for you I pray that your pain dissipates and that we have your company for years to come.

To my mother despite our distance, our at least weekly chats mean more to me than you know. Being connected to family is important and you have never been far away in my mind. I am thankful you got to work in my industry so you have a understanding of what I do and I will continue to send you my love and prayers.

To my sisters I send you my love and my wish for you is that you want a brother.  The phone has always worked both ways and I also wish that you call me just to say hello, I do not ask or expect anything more.

To the 300 plus people that rely on me to keep our hotels filled and their jobs consistent I wish for you that we have the most fruitful year in 2015 and that you and your families are healthy, happy and may much love come your way.

To my “fathers,” Dad when its time may we have more time together, Orson, I hope you have the Fritos and Root Beer ready and to Walter, I hope we can ride together again I miss that.

Robin Williams brought me to tears countless times. He may not have been one of the greatest actors but his talent of making us laugh may make him more memorable than many actors of our generation. Robin Williams dark side was hidden from us and now it has come out to the public’s eye.

We hear it all the time that someone is depressed. But most of us just brush the idea of it aside. We say snap out of it. We think to ourselves it’s nothing and we go on with our lives and really do not understand what is wrong and really think they are crazy.

This year I came to realize that two friends of mine are dealing with depression. They both let the door open a crack for me to be able to peak in. I can say that I have a very small understanding of what they go through. I do have a better understanding of how some things I say can set them off and not want to talk and regress back into their own world. One friend has been seeing a therapist and I think it has helped. The other friend seems to be dealing with it on their own, which isn’t good.

Robin Williams will be remembered for his humor and how we all laughed with him. But, I hope he will be also remembered for bringing light onto the subject of depression. Maybe more can be done to help those people suffering and educate those of us who don’t have a clue. Maybe Robin Williams’ death will actually produce actions that heal the hurt like his humor healed our hearts.

In a workplace you are forced to deal with all kinds of people. Some you may like, some you may hold with great disdain. Either way at work you can’t refuse these people. You have to get along. With family it’s not the same. We hold back feelings, we bite our tongues, we talk to everyone else in the world about the problem, yet we don’t talk to the person that matters.

We love our families and we overlook things or we just keep them in. The problem with that is family members can hold that grudge for years. The emotional toll that can take place is excruciating. It’s like stomach acid just churning over and over again in your stomach. Sometimes what’s really interesting is that some family members have no idea that they have done anything wrong. On a job you’re forced to work out your differences, yet in life no one is forced to, or obligated to do anything.

In my hotels I have families that come for events. Sometimes it’s a wedding, an anniversary or even a family reunion. After 30 plus years you notice certain things. All families have these issues that come up. We’re only human and we as humans tend to follow a pattern when reacting to certain conditions. For many years I volunteered at a senior citizen retirement center with people in their 80’s and 90’s who still had feelings that were being held back or not expressed. To go through life hating someone for what they may or may not have done or even having the misguided thought that it was intentional to them, is a good part of their life wasted. God didn’t put us on earth to hate each other or hold grudges. What are we accomplishing? No good will become of it I’m sure of that.

When I have seen people air out their dirty laundry between themselves and patch things up, they then have years of regret of the years lost that no one can regain.

The wife and I have arguments and one thing we do is we get past them. People do have differences of opinions and we accept that. As I get older I also can easily forget about the argument that we had within a very short time because I let it go. As they say in the Disney Movie “Frozen” “Let It Go, Let It Go.” Live your life people! Don’t hold it back, don’t hold it in. Forgive and Forget. Family is more important than anyone we work with, yet we give our families the hardest time. They should be the easiest to forgive compared to a coworker!

I’ve been hearing more about my church’s opinion about Heaven and Hell and Purgatory. I believe we humans make our own hell here on Earth. The trials and tribulations with which we bestow ourselves would destroy anyone. We suffer by our own doing and we think we are alone with our problems; there is no way out and so we numb ourselves. How strong of a person does one have to be, to push on through the pain and be free?

My family, the “Adams family,” has a curse hanging over it. My father’s father was a very mean drunk and would abuse my grandmother. My father and his brothers had to deal with this as young boys. My grandfather passed before I was five years of age; I don’t remember him. Somehow the sins of the father became the sins of the sons.

My father’s brothers also struggled with drink. One of my uncles fell asleep, drunk and smoking in bed, almost burning down our new house He perished from the smoke. Another uncle was drunk every time we saw him. He always had a beer open, always made his family’s life painful. He killed himself.

Yet another uncle, returning from the war, lived on the streets. We never saw him much. He was always drunk or in jail drying out, or at the VA hospital recuperating. He visited us when I was eleven or twelve. He was drunk and loud, and I had a knife in my pocket and I was prepared to use it if I had to. My father was bedridden and in a hospital with multiple sclerosis. My grandmother was embarrassed and my mother, though a strong woman, was shaken by the encounter. Ironically, a few months later Grandma would die in the hospital at 12:05 am in the morning. My uncle died at 12:10 am that same morning. I am sure my grandma took him with her.

My father somehow managed the Adams Family Curse. He drank, but only at occasions with friends and in controlled environments. I think, since he was the oldest of the brothers, he had felt a strong responsibility to protect his mother and his brothers.

As a child, I asked my father if I could taste his drink. He drank martinis, and they do not taste good the first time. My palate of chocolate milk and the occasional soft drink could not accept the taste of this concoction. Later on, my high school friends would force themselves to like beer and then vomit.

I would have nothing to do with alcohol in my life. Genetic predispositions can skip a generation, but renew themselves in a newer, younger generation. I have had friends of years past take up the bottle in their daily life and have watched them lose everything, including their children, their relationships, and their careers.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

As I write this the tears keep coming and the water faucet of my eyes just will not shut off. I have lost two friends this weekend. I call Mrs Frazer my “Second Mother.” As a late blooming teenager I was fortunate enough to meet Laurie her daughter in a church youth group that was putting on a production of Jesus Christ Super Star. The Frazer household was a family with six children, with that many children I think Mr. & Mrs. Frazer were use to a lot of stragglers following their kid’s home. They definitely had an open door policy.  At Mrs. Frazer’s house I learned about politics, I learned to appreciate art and I learned to appreciate a good debate about things that were important in life. When I arrived on the scene three of the older children were already off at college and the three youngest daughters were there. As I mentioned earlier I was a late bloomer and the friendship with Laurie was probably more than that to me but I was too dumb or shall I say naive to notice and or act on it for that matter.

No matter who you were it seemed that you were welcome in the Frazer household. As a teenager who didn’t know where he was going my second mother gave me comfort, fed me, gave me guidance and what I felt was her motherly love, not that I was headed down the wrong path. But knowing I had a second family for a teenager that didn’t know where he fit in it was comforting. Thirty some odd years later I had been speaking to Mrs Frazer every few months or so but the last two years we weren’t able to talk and I missed that. I hope you up there giving Mr. Frazer what for in a good argument!

My second loss was our Golden Retriever Mesa, just less than two years after her sister Vegas who we had to put down. This was hard as you see Mesa as a puppy actually chose us to be with. No, maybe it was more like found us. The wife was at the pet store getting ready to take home another puppy a Shih tzu we named Jake. Marisia happened to walk by the dog cages that all the puppies were in and out of let’s say ten dogs only one was up all the others were sleeping.  Marisia came into view and this little Golden Retriever went crazy barking at her as she walked by.  Another lady came down the aisle and the puppy ignored her completely. Then, the puppy ignored a man walking past them. Marisia walked by again and sure enough the puppy went crazy again. All the other dogs are still asleep so what does my wife do but ask to see the Golden Retriever puppy. Once you get into the little cubicle with the puppy you know it’s over! My phone rang at work..”can we bring home another puppy”? What was I going to say but sure why not the more the merrier.  This pet store is where we had bought our first Golden Retriever “Vegas” but that was two years earlier.  Marisa asked to see the new puppy’s birth certificate. We were all in shock, this little puppy who was alone in the world, who could have been shipped anywhere in the country had found a home with her true sister as “Mesa” our new puppy had the same mother as “Vegas” our Golden Retriever at home.

Mesa was a good dog and everyone loved her and she went to doggy heaven on her own last night. I know her and Vegas are finally together again chasing the tennis balls up in heaven.