Dear President Obama,

I’m sure you get this all the time. I have a suggestion for you. You actually brought this upon yourself. You promised to make healthcare more affordable. Now I must say I was with you on this from the beginning. I have friends and relatives that live in other countries and in their countries insurance is covered 100% by the government. They do pay higher taxes to get this privilege but for all the additional services I think it’s worth it.

In America. many people die because they can’t afford the prescription costs or the medical equipment or the therapy needed.

You are really not going to believe my suggestion because frankly, it’s pretty darn simple and the results could reduce medical costs dramatically. In my example, it would be about 2000%.

Ok, here it is: Medicare should sign up to be an “Amazon Prime Member.” I’m sure Mr. Jeff Bezos may even give you a discount on the membership because of the anticipated volume of business that you would do with them.

Here’s my example. The doctor prescribed a nebulizer for Grandma to help with her breathing. Fitzsimmons Medical Equipment were ever so helpful with their quick response by dropping one off on our doorstep within a day. They are an approved vendor for Medicare! The contract that they wanted Grandma to sign stated that they would charge her $60.00 a month for a year if Medicare didn’t cover it.

I made a note of the model number and went to Amazon.com. What did I find but the exact same model in the exact same box at a price of $38.00 with free shipping because I’m an Amazon Prime Member! That’s like a 2000% reduction. You have to think that kind of reduction would have a tremendous positive impact on the economy overall if we could do it for other items as well.

I stopped off at Fitzsimmons Medical Supply Store to return the Nebulizer. On the shelf in the store was about 30 more of the Nebulizers. There were also about over 100 walkers to assist people. Considering the aging population, the number of hospitals etc they must be selling thousands of these a day at all their stores around the country. I looked up one on Amazon also. Again it was priced similarly to the nebulizer at $38.00. Are they charging $60.00 a month for this too for each one that goes out? Hell, this company is doing better than the casino’s in raking in the money. We don’t even get to pull the handle or listen to the bells on the one arm bandit to be entertained while they take our money. They don’t even give us a free dinner buffet for spending our money with them. We don’t even get points to redeem for other prizes like the casino does.

President Obama, you want to be remembered for what you did in office. It would take 4-5 minutes at www.amazon.com to sign up and have one of the greatest impacts on the American Public in our history by any president ever!

Never in my life did I ever think I would be “helpless.” I’m sure none of us ever expect to be in that kind of situation. We see it almost every night on the television happening to someone else. It does happen so often yet were still surprised it visits us.

Helplessness has visited me several times in my life, today being one of them and I’ll explain shortly. When my father died was the first time. He had been sick and bedridden for years prior, yet I felt lost and nothing could help me at the time. When my son was born was next. Not quite the same as death but still that feeling of shock the sense of what do I do now came over me. It didn’t last as long as the first experience but it was a kick in the pants that I better get my shit together.

The next one not everyone gets to experience unless their a pet lover. Putting your dog down ending a life that you love with your heart so much, a life that depends on you with complete trust. A life that stares you in the eye and says to you why daddy why in your telepathic mind that you communicated for years with it, and you can’t explain it Just pure helplessness.

Today’s experience was short lived but very intense as well. The little women, whom for over 33 years I have called my wife had to have another procedure. It involved us blindly trusting the doctor to perform this delicate procedure and not kill my wife or mame her in some way in her brain or for that matter let her bleed to death.

In my younger years I worked at a hardware store and people would come in and I’d tell them how to fix their problem. Then for a few years I was a plumber and I continued helping even more people fix their problems.

I’ve always liked fixing my own problems and the fact that I couldn’t fix her just tore at my heart even more. Even discussing it with the doctor we compared it to plumbing and talked about arteries that were different in their ability to handle pressure and how to snake a tool into the pipe and do the repairs on an active system. I understood it better than most yet I had to let go and trust. I’m not much of a praying man but today I said my prayers and then some.

Like my dogs who I communicate with telepathically, I think we do it with our loved ones too. Because she heard me and she came  back to me.
I know it’s God punishing me as she (the wife) has sworn that her mission in life is to save me. Maybe it’s how she screams in terror at my driving skills or my bad eating habits or how I might not give enough thanks to god for everything he does for me. So thanks God for bringing her back to me I know I deserve it!

I am beginning my third week without my wife. She happens to be in the hospital dealing with some health issues and I guess we thought it was time to let the doctors again, practice on my wife. I could go off on the doctor direction and the incompetence in our health care system but I won’t go there.

In the last few weeks I did my first load of laundry in 61 years. I don’t think I ever folded clothes before. At the same time I had to take care of my 85 year old mother in law and three shitzu’s. On top of all that go to work everyday and try and stop at the hospital and see the little woman. In between all that call or text everyone in the world that is asking about her  and how she’s doing. My life as I knew it is gone. Not that it was the greatest or anything but I guess I was in a routine and was lets say comfortable.

Then there is the financial aspect that everyone tells my not to worry about. Yeah just a $200,000.00 plus bill will be in the mail soon. I am now the Publishers Clearing House for Hospitals. Then lets talk about the emotional aspect of this. (Maybe no we shouldn’t) Everyone again tells me I should let it out. Unfortunately, it comes out at the most inopportune times. Like when I’m alone driving, sitting in the restaurant and some song comes on. Or at midnight when I finally get to bed and try and get 7 hours in if I’m lucky and I flip over and touch her pillow and the familiar body that lays next to mine isn’t there.

Despite my friends in my life like Todd who has made the trek several times to the hospital with me for moral support (which I am eternally grateful for) and all the other friends who ask how I am, I’ve never felt such loneliness in my life. Friends please don’t stop but don’t take offense when I have this glazed look in my eye’s and you think I’m not listening. I’m probably not and I’m sorry for that. Just slap me and I’ll get back on track trying to figure out how to be as good as a women and do all the above and more that they do everyday.

I commute to Chicago for work. My wife tells me all the time that she’s worried about me in my travels. She asks her guardian angel to go with me and watch over me while I commute.

A few years back, she said to me, “You’re not going on the train today to Chicago are you?” I told her no. She repeated herself, that I should not get on the train that day.

That morning, a westbound train heading to Chicago crashed into another train going east in East Chicago. It was a major accident; many people were injured and quite a few died. They had to use our arena for a temporary morgue.

Yet another time, my wife said, “Do me a favor and do not use the elevator today.” I asked her why, and she replied, “Just do it please.” I told her not to worry.

On the news that day, an elevator fell five floors in a building in Chicago, with numerous people hurt.

I work in the hotel industry and at our main hotel we have a restaurant. On a particular day we were expecting a large group in the restaurant.

The phone rings “Don’t eat any bacon today” the wife says.

Now as most men would say are you crazy, bacon, bacon, bacon, oh my God bacon, I wish I could have bacon!

I have high cholesterol so I do have to be careful. It wasn’t even 10 minutes and the phone rang “Earl can you come to the kitchen.”  I walk over to the kitchen and there must have been 8 racks of bacon standing 7 ft tall surrounding me. They had prepared the bacon for this large group they were expecting. The group canceled and they said “Earl start eating!” Oh my God, a mans dream coming true almost as good as my other dream about a tall blond. But I restrained myself and have only one sandwich.

Nothing further happened.

Until yesterday.

“Did you back the car into someone today?” my wife asked me on the phone. I told her no. She called me again in the middle of the afternoon. “I need you to come home right away. The dog hurt her leg and you have to take her to the vet.” My mother-in-law lives with us, so my wife can’t just leave the house.

By 4 p.m. I wrapped everything up at work and got ready to leave. I walked out to the garage, got in the car (the spaces are separated by concrete pillars), and proceeded to back out of my parking space.

After 10 years of no accidents, I hit the pillar left of the car, scraping the left rear panel. Yellow paint from the pillar striping had left its mark for everyone to see.

I didn’t take the train, I didn’t get in an elevator but I did have to back out of a parking spot, as my wife foretold.

In a rational world, one is hard-pressed to explain the concept of guardian angels. Yet, my wife seems to possess a gift. How to explain it? I know this: The next time she cautions me, I hope I will follow her instructions to the letter.

I’ve admitted it before.. “Hi I’m Earl and I’m a junk food addict” In particular my product of choice is usually a Hostess Brand product! I probably need an intervention soon. I’ve written about my addiction with Hostess before. I’ve complained about their comeback and how they made the product smaller again. Also how they just didn’t get the same recipe as they were using before. A connoisseur such as my self can tell the subtle differences to the palate with their new recipe. 

I swore that I wouldn’t go back to the Ho Ho’s but, my addiction was too strong. I swear the FDA should look into what they are putting into them. I have no control.

I usually get my fix in the morning on my way to work in the car. Now having your morning fix in the car is a juggling act. Your always in danger of having a spill and you don’t want it to happen on your clean shirt! So the other morning I went and got my Ho Ho and this is what I saw when I opened it…

A dried out Ho Ho is the worst. Chocolate everywhere! Being an addict you want to be able to hide your addiction but with this it gets everywhere in your car seats, on your pants under your pants leg. It also gets in your shirt pocket and later when your handing out a business card a piece of chocolate goes with it to expose your true self. Oh the embarrassment!

Being an addict you want to make sure your supplier is a reputable source. I don’t go to those discount stores where they are selling it on the last day of expiration or even past it. I pay full price at my local “BP” gas station. This Ho Ho was dry as hell and crumbs did go everywhere. I’ve been licking chocolate crumbs for days. Being an addict your not proud you suck it up and don’t complain you just eat it. God forgive me but now I’m thinking I should go to Little Debbies. I’ll pay have the price but at least their product seems consistent. Oh I feel so dirty!